Coach: What would you like to work through today?
Client: I’m torn between continuing my consulting work and leaving to pursue my writing.
Coach: OK, so it’s like you’re being pulled in two different directions.
Coach: On one hand you want to continue your work and on the other pursue the writing.
Coach: So, I’m curious: this part of you that wants to continue on with the consulting work, what is it doing for you? What are you getting out of it?
Client: It’s more lucrative, so there’s money involved. Money lets me pay my rent, pay my bills. The work is interesting and I enjoy it and it gives me a sense of security, of knowing I can go back to it full-time if I need to. Oh, and there’s something else as well: it’s not quite a status thing, but it’s knowing I’m a part of the wider world.
Coach: All right. And when you think about the side of you that wants to pursue the writing? What is that doing for you?
Client: It’s growth and fulfillment.
Coach: Excellent. So you have two sides wanting to go in seemingly opposite directions. It may be more useful to you to have both parts working together. Does that sound good to you?
Client: Yes, that would be good!
Coach: Great. Is it OK if I touch your hands?
Coach: I’m going to pick up this arm [lifts client’s right hand]. If this arm were to represent either the side of you that wants to continue consulting or the side that wants to pursue writing, which would it be?
Client: Hmm, the consulting side.
Coach: That’s right, the consulting side. This hand then is the writing side [lifts the client’s left arm].
Coach: So as you look at the side that wants to write, I’m curious what would represent this. If you could give it a symbol to represent wanting to write, what would it be?
Client: It’s a quill, a quill pen.
Coach: And what about this side that wants to keep consulting? [Points to right hand.] What symbol comes to mind?
Client: I see myself in a suit.
Coach: Yourself in a suit.
Coach: Yourself in a suit there and the quill over here [points to each hand]. So I’m curious: what does this side want for you [touches left hand], because both parts of you want something positive? If you were to consider this quill here writing, what does it want for you?
Client: It’s personal growth and something about a flower.
Coach: Personal growth, flower, and even above those, who will you be as a person?
Client: I’ll be somebody who is on top.
Coach: Somebody who is on top. And when you’re on top, what does that do for you?
Client: I can see a long way.
Coach: And how does it feel when you can see a long way?
Client: It feels good.
Coach: That’s right, it feels good. And even beyond feeling good, who are you from the top, having that growth?
Client: I’m myself.
Coach: That’s right. This part that would like to continue with the consulting, you there in the suit, what does this side want for you?
Client: Um, there’s safety.
Client: Yeah, almost a conformity.
Coach: And beyond the safety and conformity, what else?
Client: It’s keeping me from being alone.
Coach: And when you’re not alone, what are you?
Client: With other people.
Coach: And what does that do for you?
Client: It lets me fit in.
Coach: And when you’re not alone and you’re fitting in, how do you feel?
Client: It’s almost like it doesn’t want me to find out who I am. Isn’t that funny?
Coach: Isn’t that funny. What may happen when you find out who you are?
Client: I guess that’s what it doesn’t want me to find out.
Coach: And in that not wanting to find out, that not being alone, that safety, that’s right [coach notices trance responses]. I wonder what this hand can tell you about the not wanting to find out? Because I’m starting to think that you have two different parts at work here. It isn’t the consulting and the writing; it’s the not wanting to find out who you are and the wanting to discover who you are. How does it feel to consider that?
Client: This one seems very constraining [touches right hand, the side that doesn’t want to know].
Coach: It is constraining, and what is it doing for you?
Client: Oh, it’s giving me a path.
Coach: It’s giving you a path.
Coach: And when you have that path, how does it feel?
Client: It feels like I know where I’m going.
Coach: And what is that experience like?
Client: It’s regular — no, routine.
Coach: What does that routine give you?
Client: Um, I’m spinning . . . [Client is doing a transderivational search. He is moving through his different experiences rapidly to find the answer. This is indicated through his eye accessing cues. ] Safety.
Coach: What do you get from having that safety?
Client: Oh, I can be myself in other areas.
Coach: You can be yourself in other areas. This part over there that wants you to discover who you are, what is it doing for you?
Coach: And when you’re self-actualized?
Client: I’m me.
Coach: And how does that feel?
Client: Good [physiological shift].
Coach: Good. When you’ve taken the path and realized you can be you [points to problem side], how does that feel?
Client: Good [physiological shift].
Coach: You mean both sides want you to feel good?
Coach: So what I would like for you to do is to watch these hands because they have already begun a journey [coach has noticed the client’s hands beginning to move together], and eventually in their own time when they do touch, I would like for your unconscious mind to create a new symbol. This new symbol lets you know that both parts are working together because each side of you has something to give the other side. This part of you that will give safety and can let you feel good on that path, it has a skill that it can give this other side to help you discover who you are. What is that skill?
Client: It’s like practicality, getting things done.
Coach: Practicality and getting things done. What about this side over here? What skill can it give?
Client: Vision and growth.
Coach: Practicality, getting things done, vision, and growth. [Touches both hands, begins to touch the “wrong” side as she mentions each skill.] And as those hands come together, your unconscious mind prepares that new symbol. Vision and practicality, getting things done, and growth. That’s right . . . that’s it. And when those hands do touch, that symbol will appear in its own time. That’s it. What is that there? [Client’s hands touch.] What do you see there?
Client: I see a rope going up like the Indian Rope Trick.
Coach: I’d like for you to take that rope going up and make it a part of who you are in any way that is appropriate for you. Practicality, growth, vision, getting things done — that rope going up represents discovering who you are, following a path, having others around you while discovering who you are. Maybe even a routine way of making discoveries.
Coach: Only when that rope is fully integrated, and all parts of you are working together, can you keep feeling good and practically having vision and growth in a way that gets things done. Now, you can your eyes open and return to the room, with full movement in your arms. In your own time.
[Client begins to emerge from trance.]
Coach: Welcome back. Great work! How do you feel?
Client: I feel good!
Coach: That’s right. When you think about discovering who you are, how does that feel?
Client: It’s good.
Coach: And writing versus consulting?
Client: I can find out who I am while doing both. The consulting doesn’t stop that.
Coach: It doesn’t? Are you sure?
Coach: How do you know?
Client: Because I feel good!
Coach: And as you are feeling good you can consider sometime soon when you will be writing, knowing that the consulting is there waiting for you. Or perhaps you will be consulting, feeling good knowing that writing is right around the corner
Client: Yes, thank you!
Click below to discover how you can move the Visual Squash (aka: Parts Negotiation) out of the coaching office and into areas of your life where you want to have more influence. Receive your free chapter from the Visual Squash by clicking below.